Season 3 Draft Review/Roast

August 13, 2024

Table of Contents

Matt
Rebecca
Kevin
Matthew
Soph
MatthewR
Scott
Darryan
Emily
Jesse
Dylan
Andrew
Coop
Zach
Gavin
Luke

Matt - 1st Pick

FWD - Haaland, Ferguson, Hirst

MID - Luis Diaz, Mbeumo, Bernardo Silva, Werner, Mainoo

DEF - Porro, Gusto, Cash, Ajer, Collins

GKP - Onana, Neto

Ah yes, the Haaland team. Matt made the objectively correct choice, didn't overthink it, and took the tap-in birdie. That's great, because he also has a very well rounded draft otherwise! Compared to the past two seasons, I'd say Matt has put himself in a solid position from the get-go. (No shade to past Haaland owners, both of them finished in top 4 - waiting so long between picks is no joke!) He has a solid midfield core of Luis Diaz (albeit a rotation risk, he did get 1g1a or something in a friendly earlier today), Mbeumo the 35yo who is actually just 25, and Bernardo Silva the 40yo who is actually just 30. On top of that, he stole my 1st DEF pick out from under me with Pedro Porro and followed that with Malo Gusto, whose minutes should be secured by Reece James' glass knees. Plus, 2 starting goalkeepers! (If Neto beats out Travers)

Genuinely, this is a good team, with weak spots only in depth, which to be fair is expected from the Haaland team(tm). Werner (minutes risk), Ferguson (physio table), Hirst (Ipswich), Cash (minutes risk), Mainoo (defensive midfielder), and a couple of Brentford boys who aren't actually all that bad are all that hold Matt back. *Hirst is actually a solid pickup but I couldn't help but make a joke about a promoted team

Well done Matt! You lucked into the 1st pick (and made the right decision) 9/10 team

… is what I would have said if I wanted to write a very positive, truthful review of someone's draft.

And I can't fault Matt for taking Haaland. He's excellent. Unfortunately though, I don't think even he is able to carry the heavy weight of the midfield Matt has put together. Not to mention Luis Diaz's recent familial trouble (seriously glad the situation was resolved positively), Diaz doesn't speak Dutch, and you never know what's going to happen when a bald manager sits down to put together the teamsheet for matchday. Maybe he'll prefer someone a little more Oranje. And even if he does make the teamsheet, Matt gets to experience the joy of watching a player who underperformed their xG by almost 5 goals last season. Trust me, it isn't fun.

As good as Luis Diaz can be, Matt still has to field at least 3 midfielders. That means one of Bernardo 'playing deeper and deeper' Silva, Timo 'can't hit a barn door' Werner, or Kobbie 'hasn't stepped foot in the opponent's box' Mainoo has to start. Which makes selection an issue, since Ferguson has been in the physio's office since his 16th birthday and Hirst plays for Ipswich(and is out injured for the next 2 months).

On the bright side, Matt does have Brentford matches to look forward too, seeing as he drafted 2 Brentford defenders. Those 7 clean sheets sure will taste sweet.

Haaland draft. 10/10

Rebecca - 2nd Pick

FWD - Alvarez, Richarlison, Fabio Silva

MID - Salah, Nkunku, Minteh, Callum Hudson-Odoi, Oscar Bobb

DEF - Munoz, Mykolenko, Maatsen, Barco, Harwood-Bellis

GKP - Flekken, Sels

The Salah team! The Egyptian king is back at it with a new, balder manager and, similarly to Haaland, is owned by a new manager (who also didn't overthink it)! In addition to choosing Salah, I like a lot of Rebecca's picks. There were genuinely a number of times where I saw her pick and was disappointed with being unable to take that player myself. See:

Minteh: For those unaware, Brighton bought the Gambian this summer for 30 million pounds from Newcastle (played for Feyenoord on loan). He has looked so good in preseason and as the record signing, should be playing RW.
Munoz: Excellent wingback, ended last season super well, and is managed by Glasner, who has thus far been an excellent manager for Crystal Palace
Callum Hudson-Odoi: Ended the season on such a high at Nottingham Forest, who have also made some decent signings including 2 of the tallest players in the premier league, and Taiwo Awoniyi! Who definitely just magically vanished last season for 6 months :)
Maatsen: While a rotation risk for Villa (c'mon Emery, you know he's better than Digne), this guy looked excellent in the Champions League last season
Barco: Having only played a couple games toward the end of last season, this Football Manager-ass signing looks to be quite good. Plus, Estupinan spends most of his time on the table, so he should be able to cement his spot.
Sels: Will he be the starter for Nottingham Forest over 6'8" Carlos Miguel? Yeah, probably.

There are a few more, but honestly very impressed with this draft other than the unfortunate Alvarez pick. Perhaps a Solanke injury or sneaky waiver move and the FWD situation can be redeemed. 7.5/10

… is what I would have said if I wanted to gas up a new manager to the league.

And honestly, the pick order did that for me, handing Rebecca a player who has never scored less than 211 points. Fortunately for the rest of us, she decided that research is lame and took Julian Alvarez, who has been at the center of the transfer rumor carousel for the past 2 weeks. I believe that Atletico Madrid announced his arrival yesterday as well. Great timing!

On top of a quite poor FWD group, Rebecca also bought into rotation roulette. Nkunku, Maatsen, Barco, and Bobb are all huge question marks. Will they play every minute? Will they be tossing a water bottle to Kevin de Bruyne when he gets too warm? Will Nkunku finally 'play 52 games a season' like he did eons ago, or will he hurt his knee, or his fitness (43 days out for fitness? really dude?), or his hip, or his hamstring? Do Chelsea players not stretch? Maybe they just don't have space on the field for everyone to have personal space to warm up. Yeah, that must be it.

Anyway, enjoy the 82 million pounds from the Julian Alvarez transfer, hopefully it can buy more than a rotational player from Southampton.

Salah draft. 10/10

Kevin - 3rd Pick

FWD - Solanke, Vardy, Guiu

MID - Kevin De Bruyne, Morgan Gibbs-White, James Ward-Prowse, Fatawu, Morsy

DEF - Udogie, Ake, Konsa, Emerson, Walker-Peters

GKP - Verbruggen, Hermansen

Perhaps one of the most interesting pre-draft questions was answered by Kevin- when will Solanke be picked? I suppose 3rd it is! And honestly, I respect it. FWDs are hard to come by and he just got his big move to Tottenham, so why not take a flyer? Kevin has one of the more interesting drafts in my eyes, taking 3 players with hyphenated last names (league high).

Kevin also answered one of the other most interesting pre-draft questions- when will Kevin De Bruyne be picked? 30th is the answer here. I personally expected 2nd/3rd round, but I know some were concerned he dropped this far. Will he be a steal this late? Maybe, he'll probably win Kevin some gameweeks outright, but he also carries a risk of injury and rotation. Thanks Pep. Either way, I think this is a solid pick for all Kevins and I'm glad he found his people. Plus, Solanke doesn't really get injured, so consistent points are already there.

Anyway, Kevin's late-draft strengths are definitely in his defense. Should Udogie stay fit and Ake un-rotated (thanks Pep), they'll join a very solid duo of Konsa and Emerson in Kevin's backline. Walker-Peters isn't so bad either!

Unfortunately, Kevin does pick up some risk of rotation in Vardy, James Ward-Prowse, and Guiu. Will we see a lot of 5 at-the-back? Perhaps. Anyway, solid draft! 7/10

… is what I would have said if I wanted to respect a fellow manager's risky draft picks.

And yeah I still respect it. What I don't respect is picking Kevin de Bruyne in the 2nd round(should've been 3rd, minimum). Must've been the first name connection. The only thing worse than nepotism is this midfield depth. Behind the injury prone, Saudi-praising, ponytailed(wtf?) Belgian is Morgan Gibbs-White, James Ward-Prowse, and two MIDs from promoted teams. Sure, they might come good, but MGW over Kudus? Bailey? Hwang Hee-chan? He plays for the team that finished 16th in xG last season and is managed by a coach who lead Wolves to one of the worst attacking seasons I've ever seen. Not to mention JWP, whose only purpose on an ever expanding West Ham team is to come on in the 80th minute and attempt Olympicos from the left corner.

Kevin's FWD depth also consists of Vardy and Guiu - it is not a Vardy Party and Leicester City will not be taking another trip to Thailand.

Solid draft. 3(hyphenated names)/10

Matthew - 4th Pick

FWD - Muniz, Unal, Ndiaye

MID - Saka, Kudus, Mitoma, Semenyo, Schade

DEF - Robertson, Schar, Tarkowski, Dunk, Kerkez

GKP - Leno, Miguel

Woah it's me. I'm pretty happy with my draft overall, but there's definitely some places it is lacking. I guess we'll start with what I like:

All of my midfielders: I think I have a great midfielder core with Saka/Kudus/Mitoma/Semenyo/Schade. Each of these players should be near the top of their team sheets and are playing very far forward. Plus, if Schade ~~sucks~~ underperforms, I can send him to the Gulag. Yay!
Muniz: I really like how he ended last season and how Fulham's transfer window has shaped up. Unfortunate that I didn't get the opportunity to take a FWD from a slightly better team but Saka + Muniz will do.
Schar/Tarkowski: Love these pickups, I think that Schar is basically the only nailed Newcastle defender other than Trippier and should they sign Guehi I think their defense will be much improved on last season. Also, no Europe! On Tarkowski, Everton had the 2nd most clean sheets last season and he's nailed.
Leno: One of the best keepers last season, glad I got a solid one during Keeper Round.

What I dislike:

FWDs: I think there wasn't a lot of room for me to pickup backup FWDs. Should have probably taken Delap and Hirst when I had the chance. Oh well. I think Unal and Ndiaye get non-zero minutes though, right? right? :copium:
Robertson: Brother is already injured.

Will I go b2b? Eh, too early to tell. 8/10

… is what I'd say if I wanted to do a humorous yet honest review of my own team.

And honestly, it looks like I'll be stuck in 2nd for another 38 weeks. This time without Cole Palmer to bail me out. Or Ollie Watkins to give me a weekly +5. As it turns out, 6 players that I owned from last season were drafted in the first 2 rounds. Seems like lightning really may have been caught in a bottle there. And here I am, cursed to lose to {1st place manager} 3 times and slowly lose hope as the season slides to a close while I make futile transfers swapping my Nottingham Forest defender for an Ipswich one claiming this will 'definitely win me this week.'

Will I be lucky enough to storm the league again? Unlikely. But hey, at least I get to type these bad boys out for the next 10 months :)

washed and rigged 0/10

Soph - 5th Pick

FWD - Watkins, Jesus, Edouard

MID - Bailey, Rashford, Summerville, Harry Wilson, Jacob Murphy

DEF - Trent Alexander-Arnold, Walker, Leif Davis, Colwill, Bradley

GKP - Sanchez, Bazunu

Boy, I really like this draft. And not just because Watkins is on the team (but I love that too). The FWD/DEF first 2 rounds is so fun, and the rest of the draft is filled with great pickups. Bailey, Summerville, and Jacob Murphy make a great midfield core and, should Rashford figure it out again, a 5th Round pick is a steal. A defense of Trent/Walker/Colwill and taking a flyer on Leif Davis who had 22 assists in the Championship is very solid.

Where does this draft falter? Probably at GKP. Sanchez is in competition with Jorgensen (and 5 other goalkeepers) so may not start. Or maybe will start half the games. Who knows? It's Chelsea. On top of that, I doubt Edouard will play a lot, but most teams have a FWD or two sitting the bench. Most predictions consider that Jesus will be playing more minutes this season (and has been killing it in preseason at ST) and Watkins is Watkins. Other than the first couple games of the season, he's out there at minute 1 week in, week out.

Well done by our new manager Soph - take care of Ollie for me :'( 9/10

… is what I'd say if I wanted to write a positive review of a well-rounded team.

And honestly, this team is well-rounded, if you look at the assist for Liverpool's first goal against Sheffield United last December. My prediction: Soph's team has more cracks.

You all know I can't speak poorly about Watkins (hell, I just spent an outrageous price on import tariffs), but the other forwards on this team just do not turn my water into wine. Who knows though, maybe it's the 3rd season at Arsenal that'll finally raise him from the dead. Perhaps Old Trafford will flood again on March 8th, giving him a huge advantage. I won't even touch on Eduoard, who somehow started 17 matches and was subbed on in 13 more and did not once leave an impression on me last season.

Moving down the list we find possibly the most washed player on the draft board: Rashford. Though perhaps not as washed as he was in Belfast back in January when he missed their FA Cup match. Once golden boy Marcus gets yet another chance to feed the hungry… for 6 weeks before he forgets how to score again.

Watkins draft. 10000/10

MatthewR - 6th Pick

FWD - Nico Jackson, Joao Pedro, Antonio

MID - Palmer, Szoboszlai, Ismaila Sarr, Jadon Sancho, Marcus Tavernier

DEF - Ben White, John Stones, Tyrick Mitchell, Dan Burn, Luke Shaw

GKP - Pope, Steele

Woah, it's meR. I think there's a lot to like about MatthewR's draft. There's also some things that I'm a little confused by. I guess we'll start with what I like:

High scorers: Palmer - Highest scoring MID; White - Highest scoring DEF; Nico Jackson - Highest used emoji
Szoboszlai, Sarr, Tavernier: I think this is a very solid group. Szoboszlai has been on everyone's radar playing basically second striker to Jota in preseason. Sarr and Tavernier are very attacking players, with the latter on set pieces (IIRC).
The punts: I think there may be too many punts on this team, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Pedro could be very good should he nail down that ST spot, Stones with gametime is on a very defensively solid team, Mitchell has huge attacking upside as he proved last season, and if Luke Shaw can finally be allowed to bring his crutches on the field he could do some real damage.

What I dislike:

Jadon Sancho

Sancho jokes aside, I think this is a pretty solid draft. Has a lot of upside, especially if Szoboszlai can nail down his spot. 7/10

… is what I'd say if I wanted to give MatthewR any hope that his draft was good.

I can see what he was going for - I won last year, have the same name as him, picked only 2 ahead, etc, etc - but Nicolas Jackson in the 2nd round? He was an unknown quality and went in the 4th round last season and MatthewR decided 'yeah, the worst hat trick of all time is Best Pick Available.' Queue the gif please. Palmer is good though, until Chelsea inevitably win a fraction of the penalties as last season and he scores 9 less goals. But hey, you spent a 1st round pick on him when I traded a nobody.

Apart from the Chelsea duo (ew), MatthewR seemingly didn't learn from last season's performances(prepare for misused semi-colons, there's a reason I'm an engineer): Joao Pedro vanishing for half the season; Antonio exiting on a stretcher and leaving Bowen to deputize at striker; Szoboszlai disappearing in more games than letters in his name; Sancho; Dan Burn hitting his head on the door-frame and starting only half the season (at CB no less); Nick Pope somehow being the only goalkeeper in the league with an extended absence; and Luke Shaw, who started just 12 matches… and has been injured again while typing this sentence. My producer is telling me he's out for the season. Unfortunate.

This hospital wing of a team will be lucky if Ben White and Cole Palmer can produce to the extent of last season. Fortunately for MatthewR, Arteta knows what RBs to start, unlike Southgate.

Palmer draft, 9(pens)/9

Scott - 7th Pick

FWD - Wilson, Nketiah, Welbeck

MID - Son, Jota, Martinelli, Trossard, Mac Allister

DEF - Cancelo, Joemez, Tomiyasu, Kiwior, Chilwell

GKP - Ederson, Petrovic

As much as I hate to say it, Scott's draft is a little rough this year. There are a number of players who are undoubtedly good picks, so we can cover those.

Son: In a poor year for Tottenham strikers, Son still somehow ended up with 17 goals and 10 assists. I assume those numbers can only improve once he has moved to his preferred position of LW and has a fairly injury resistant Dominic Solanke to assist.
Jota: Looks to be the favorite to start at ST for Liverpool, making him OOP. Either way, he's incredibly clinical and excellent off the bench. Let's just hope his body doesn't fail him this season.
Martinelli/Trossard: Might be odd to look at, but I don't think these picks are too bad. Both are generally strong choices off the bench and will even take the field together every once in a while. I see one of these two being very productive this season, so why not own both?
Mac Allister: Genuinely just a solid player, and with Slot apparently being more "attacking" showed he knows how to score last season. Should also be one of the more nailed-on Liverpool players.
Ederson: Not much to say here, unless he is sold to Saudi Arabia he's a very solid keeper to have.

Regardless of the state of the midfield, there are some picks that will have trouble seeing the field. Cancelo should be transferred away, Joe Gomez is a rotational option (and has transfer rumors swirling), Tomiyasu is permanently injured and low in the depth chart, and Kiwior and Chilwell are both seeing their playing time evaporating. On top of that, there is the ever present injury risk for Wilson and transfer rumors surrounding Nketiah as well. Scott! If you're reading this, make some transfers for these guys :) 5/10

… is what I'd say if I wanted to give some hope to a backline that wishes for the smell of grass this season.

I understand not everyone here has ball knowledge, and that's okay, but unfortunately for Scott 5/6 of his last picks were defenders, and 5/5 will not start a game this season. Draft Rank really does become unreliable that late in the draft, so Scott seemed to follow the mirage and drank from the Chilwell. hah, sorry.

Anyway, as much as I love Arsenal and how Arteta has transformed the defense, taking the 4th string left back and 2nd string right physio table is not who I would've went with. Add Nketiah to that group and you have bench numbers 7-9. Fortunately for Scott, he did add bench player #1, Martinelli, who shares the spot with bench player #1, Trossard. At this point, who knows who is going to be starting at LW. Maybe they'll stack them ontop of each other and give them an XXXL kit. Would probably result in more chemistry down the left side than last season.

Onto Cancelo… now here's a guy who just keeps popping up at high DR and doesn't seem to go away. And yet, after continually being dropped for some Brentford defender every year, keeps being drafted. Maybe Scott will follow in his last owner's footsteps? Or maybe he doesn't have Haaland to carry him and ends up relegated. Only time will tell.

Joemez/10

Darryan - 8th Pick

FWD - Gakpo, Duran, Raul Jimenez

MID - Foden, Johnson, Doku, Paqueta, Barkley

DEF - Saliba, Calafiori, Dalot, Van de Ven, Reece James

GKP - Emi Martinez, Jorgensen

Honestly, solid draft all around from our Season 1 winner. Running it back with Foden is absolutely a winning hand (even if he doesn't start this weekend), Saliba is odds on favorite for most minutes of any Arsenal defender, Johnson and Doku are both explosive wingers should they see consistent minutes, and Emi Martinez is one of the greatest to ever do it. Unfortunately, Darryan is going to have to bet on Gakpo cementing a spot at either LW or ST, or for other Liverpool attackers to get injured. Similarly, I'd wager that Calafiori has a good chance at rotating often with Jurrien Timber, but seems a solid choice should he solidify the position. As for his other forwards, Darryan must be speculating that Duran or Raul finds some minutes or a transfer. That said, I do quite like the line Darryan took in the later rounds: Dalot, Van De Ven, and a venture on Reece James staying off the table are all nice pickups.

Also, Darryan took Paqueta. 7.77/10

… is what I'd say if I wanted to lightly roast a friend.

But if I really wanted to roast him? Aye, I could do that.

Let's start from the top. Gakpo? More like Gakpoo. Duran? Do not double his name because he has no hits. Jimenez? Well, the best thing about him being on the field is his story. So thanks for picking him.

Following up a FWD group with potential for 1 pointers with a group of midfielders who could very well see only one start in a week is a brave strat. Or maybe Darryan hasn't been reading the news? False 9 Kulusevski is gone, pushing him to the wing to compete with Johnson, who underperformed his xG by nearly 7 goals last season. He couldn't hit a barn door to save his life! And not only that, he overperformed his xA. For those new to soccer stats, that means his teammates were finishing chances he created at a rate well above average. To slide over a midfield slot, Doku, the rapid winger from Man City, is becoming less and less rapid, and taking up his rightful place as Grealish 2.0. Pep saw one look at his fancy footwork and direct play and said 'nah.' I wouldn't be surprised if he stops all that running with the ball nonsense altogether this season. Welcome to 2 pointers, Darryan(if he even starts). Need I say much more about Paqueta? I wrote a whole paragraph full of gambling puns. I'd be surprised if he made it to October. Oh and Barkley. I knew you had some sentimentality in you. Just because he lifted you from 10th to 8th last season doesn't mean he's good (or will play any minutes in a stacked Villa team).

Darryan made some brave choices in his DEF positions. Saliba? Fair, he's solid and probably worth 4th DEF off the board (Mosquera hype). Following it up with Calafiori when Walker, Munoz, Ake, etc are all on the board? We don't even know if he'll play. He may have 5 starts by Christmas if Jurrien Timber matches the hype from checks calendar one year ago. Follow that up with possibly a defender from the worst of the big 6 in Dalot? Sure, he won some matches last season on his own. For Morgan. And Reece James- starting the season suspended, injured for the Euros, one of the many Chelsea captains, homegrown English player, this. is. his. year. Oh wait, what's that? He's injured? Already? They aren't even playing matches yet. How's he got injured 3 days before the season started?

Hip thrust in Saudi Arabia/10

Emily - 9th Pick

FWD - Cunha, Strand-Larsen, Kalajdzic

MID - Odegaard, Hwang Hee-chan, Joao Gomes, Rodrigo Gomes, Mario Jr

DEF - Ait-Nouri, Toti, Doherty, Hugo Bueno, Dawson

GKP - Jose Sa, Bentley

The Wolves team! Plus the red wolf Odegaard! I really enjoyed the challenge of working with Emily on this team and figuring out when each player could be picked so that the rest of the league couldn't get their most attractive assets. Seems like it worked! From an objective point of view, I think this team has a lot of good players on it and I'm genuinely unsure as to how this will work with FPL scoring. Will it be too good? Will it be not good at all? My best guess is somewhere in the middle, and if Gary O'Neil can make this team click like they were at times last season, Emily has a chance at a pretty solid finish.

That said, for FPL purposes I love a good few of these players and am kinda sad that they were chosen in such a way that nobody else would be able to take them :). To start, I think the FWD duo of Cunha and Strand-Larsen is very solid. For those out of the loop, Strand-Larsen was bought from Celta Vigo for 28 million Euros (on a loan-to-buy deal) and has come in as their main striker, with Cunha sitting in the 10 role. Apparently, he's done very well in preseason too. In terms of midfielders, Odegaard and Hee-chan are great picks and have had very solid seasons in the past. R. Gomes as well, a 15 million pound purchase from Braga in Portugal, looks to be the upcoming replacement to Neto (originally signed as a rotational option), and has been on fire in preseason. Defensively, Ait-Nouri is a very attacking wingback who even played as a winger at times toward the end of last season.

I think it'll be very interesting to see how this team does over the course of the FPL season. Wolves/10 (actual score 7/10)

… is what I'd say if I wanted to make an informational review about a team I spent a lot of time researching and putting together a draft guide for and think will be an interesting experiment that may lead to me making rules outlawing its sort in the future but we won't know that yet because the season hasn't started but maybe one day Emily will win the league and we'll all be like 'yeah, I can see how you aren't allowed to pick more than 3 players from a team in OFPL' and we may regret our words and our deeds but at the end of the day this is a fun game with some lighthearted banter so we get to do these types of fun things like allowing a manager to take literally 14 Wolves players.

And really, I think the most egregious mistake when drafting this team is the big red pimple in the middle. If anything, Emily should not have taken my advice and should've taken some 21-year old Portuguese guy who will play 8 minutes every other game. Oh wait, that's Hugo Bueno(who also just secured himself a loan deal out of the league). On the other hand, maybe taking Odegaard wasn't a mistake, just considering the likelihood of him outscoring every other drafted player is so high. I guess we'll find out when Wolves takes on Arsenal this weekend, won't we?

Speaking of outscoring, should Wolves repeat their clean sheet record from last season (4), Emily may end up with more Gomes's on the field than points from her backline. Wouldn't that be neat?

And yet I must add, some of us will be absolutely crushed by her this season. Made to look like fools tinkering with our Liverpool this and Man City that when Wolves wins 4-0 against a Southampton, or a Leicester, or a Manchester United. And so, for those 10 or so who meticulously crafted a team and then lost to the wall of yellow, it will be oh so sweet to see the golden wave descend into the second division.

2(Gomes's)/10

Jesse - 10th Pick

FWD - Isak, Dominic Calvert-Lewin, D.D. Fofana

MID - Gordon, Garnacho, Pereira, Mavididi, Gallagher

DEF - Ruben Dias, Andersen, Zinchenko, Bassey, Semedo

GKP - Foderingham, Muric

Having finally sat down and looked at this draft, I quite like it. There's a couple of troublesome picks (Gallagher is on a plane to Madrid as we speak, Zinchenko is stuck in rotation hell, D.D. Fofana is a Chelsea player), but overall it's very well balanced.

There's a lot to like about this draft, so starting from the top, Isak at #10 is a great pick and almost certainly the best remaining FWD at that pick number. Very good dribbler and finisher on a strong attacking side. Jesse follows this up with the midfield trio of Gordon, Garnacho, and Pereira, 3 very solid midfielders to build around. Gordon had a very good 11 goal 10 assist season last year and has definitely nailed down the LW spot in the Newcastle team. Garnacho has also worked his way into the starting lineup, with United insiders noting that he "is the most likely to start out of Garnacho/Rashford/Amad." Pereira finds himself in contention with Emile Smith Rowe for the 10 spot, but I imagine he just slides a bit deeper and continues taking penalties. Following up these three is a Mavididi pickup, the starting LW from newly promoted Leicester. Solid pickup on a relatively unknown quantity! To round out his draft, Jesse selected a defensive core of Ruben Dias, Joachim Andersen, and Bassey- 3 solid center backs from defensively good teams.

All-in-all, a solid draft with a couple of 'haven't read the news' picks that can easily be shipped off to the free agent pool. Well done! 8/10

… is what I'd say if I wanted to finish writing these damn reviews at like 11:30pm after drafting and really should have quit about 3 reviews ago (I ended up quitting after this one).

And boy, this review missed the mark further than a DCL miss. It's brave, taking not just one injury prone FWD but two. And then taking a Chelsea player as the third string? Fortunately for Jesse, Isak played in 30 matches last season and DCL played in 32. Unfortunately for Jesse, they played in a combined 32 matches the season before that. Sounds like Coop's draft (you'll understand this reference later, I wrote these in a weird order). Jesse had better get used to seeing the number of goals Calvert-Lewin scored that season as well. Or maybe he'll just trade them away, maybe similarly to a certain other Newcastle player last year?

But at the end of the day, anyone is better than Harry Kane mid-transfer to Bayern Munich.

I guess an 11th round pick on Conor Gallagher, who's stuck on a private plane flying back and forth from Madrid is slightly better, isn't it?

Onto the other midfielders, and I have to say, banking on Newcastle's attack to supply a season's worth of points is an interesting play. Gordon & Isak aren't a bad duo, but picking up Garnacho from an anemic Manchester United attack and Pereira when Fulham just slotted in a replacement for a 3rd and 4th? We'll see how that works out for Jesse in 3 weeks time. If I had to guess, some of you may be receiving 4 players in a trade sometime soon.

The defense in this draft is less bad, I suppose. Except Jesse followed in Darryan's, and Scott's, and Gavin's footsteps and fell for the oldest trick in the book- Arteta's pitfall trap in the woods that lures in unsuspecting managers who just want a taste of one of the 4 Arsenal left backs. And that's too bad for Jesse, because his other options include Ruben Dias (fair), Andersen from Crystal Palace, Bassey, who may be the defender with the least goal threat in the league, and Nelson Semedo. Wait, he's suspended for a red card- why isn't he on Darryan's team? And isn't he a Wolves player? Why's this guy missing from Emily's team too?

And finally, the goalkeepers can't get much worse than this, can they? Foderingham, the newly acquired backup keeper for West Ham, bought from the worst team in the Premier League last season, and Muric, the Ipswich goalkeeper. Enjoy your weekly 2 points from Muric- 4 goals against and 6 saves.

Better than last year? I guess it isn't that hard to improve on 9th out of 12 teams.

Muric(a)/10

Dylan - 11th pick

FWD - Toney, Awoniyi, Ings

MID - Bowen, Emile Smith Rowe, McGinn, Sarabia, Jaden Philogene

DEF - Gabriel, Romero, Castagne, Richards, Omabamidele

GKP - Henderson, Johnstone

A new day and a new manager, we're onto Dylan's draft. Honestly, a lot to like about this draft. If all the players play.

I think we should start with the obvious positives of this draft. At the top could be two starting FWDs for decently attacking sides, Bowen and Emile Smith Rowe are genuinely very solid pickups, and Gabriel, Romero, Castagne, and Richards are a solid back 4 for a first squad in Ultimate Team. Oh, and Crystal Palace does have 2 keepers on the squad. They are also on Dylan's team.

… on the other hand, there is a very decent chance that Toney leaves Brentford before the window closes. His contract does run out next Summer and rumors are with Fabio Carvalho signing for Brentford for 27.5 million pounds, he could be making a move. Pair that with two FWDs who don't know the difference between the team bus and an ambulance and Dylan may spend a number of weeks with a 0 up top. Drifting to the midfield, I don't even think John McGinn's dumpy could save him from the bench riding that Sarabia and Jaden Philogene will be doing this season. Maybe Dylan hasn't heard but Wolves literally signed a 21 year old this summer and he's already higher in the pecking order than Sarabia. On the same note, Aston Villa has a deeper roster on the wings than Buffalo and Jaden sits firmly at the bottom. Watch Me waiver Ramsey when he starts 100% of the time over Philogene this season.

I can't say a lot about the defenders, mostly because I can't even properly pronounce Omabamidele's name. Will he even play? I doubt it and this AI generated article claiming to have stats and predictions for Nottingham Forest this season doesn't even mention his name. Where did Dylan get him from? I don't know, but odds are he's playing in the Championship on loan come September.

Decent draft, 4/10

Andrew - 12th Pick

FWD - Wissa, Zirkzee, Lukaku

MID - Chaplin, Grealish, Joelinton, Kovacic, Mudryk

DEF - Mosquera, Maguire, Estupinan, Konate, Tsimikas

GKP - Areola, Ortega

Andrew has done it once again. Putting together a magnificent draft that will somehow finish above Zach for the second year in a row. Headlined by names such as Lukaku, black and white motion picture star Charlie Chaplin, and 'unfortunate surname' Alphonse Areola, there is no doubt in my mind that each and every one of us will be scratching our heads as he inevitably climbs to 4th. After all, he did draft Yerson Mosquera in the first round. Where he deserves to be. Will the defensive line that somehow has Harry Maguire as the most consistent player garner any amount of points this year? Yeah, probably not. But it will sure be a spectacle to see him pick up a dozen wins on unsuspecting managers. Don't lie to yourself, you saw this draft and went 'yay a free win.' Instead of those delectable 3 points, you'll be rethinking your 111th waiver transfer of the season going 'maybe if I took Harry Winks this week I would have beat Andrew.'

Incredible draft. 10/10

Coop - 13th Pick

FWD - Darwin Nunez, Chris Wood, Maupay

MID - Sterling, Kulusevski, Neto, Barnes, Elliott

DEF - Trippier, Cucurella, Digne, Coufal, Zouma

GKP - Vicario, Valdimarsson

Coop's draft has a lot going for it, if by 'a lot' you're counting the numer of crossbars hit. They'd be lucky to see 29 year old 'prime of his life' Sterling hit the field behind some 12 year old Brazilian with a mighty presidential name. And not only that, they doubled down on seeing players benched with new Chelsea signing Neto. Oh wait, he's not benched, he's out for 3 months with a sprained ankle. Hell, I would've missed less games than him with the same injury (27 matches??? really??).

Honestly, if I were to choose the most frustrating players to watch, Nunez, Wood, and Sterling would be 3 of the top 4- and MatthewR has the 4th. Luckily for Coop, they won't have to watch them play, since all of them will probably be sitting the bench by gameweek 5. If not suspended for throwing chairs at fans.

Fortunately, that gives them plenty of time to check out Maupay's Instagram page! Where they can find instant classics such as:

Videos of him throwing darts
Making fun of Antony (based)
'Sir, a second Neal Maupay goal has hit the back of the net'
Injuring Bernd Leno, leading to Emi Martinez starting for Arsenal, leading to his transfer to Aston Villa, leading to him being named #1 GK for Argentina, leading to him making a last minute save in a 1 on 1 with Kolo Muani, leading to him saving 2 penalties in the shootout to win the World Cup for Lionel Messi

Honestly, the whole draft seems two-faced to me. Will he play, will he not?

I will not make a Zouma joke. Meow/10

Zach - 14th Pick

FWD - Fullkrug, Hojlund, Daka

MID - Bruno, Rice, Dewsbury-Hall, Elanga, McNeil

DEF - Akanji, Robinson, Pau, Kilman, Lisandro Martinez

GKP - Alisson, Travers

On to Zach! Whose draft really bucks all trends for me. Take a FWD in the first round due to position scarcity? Pass on Mateta and Havertz and take Bruno Fernandes, leaving him with Fullkrug. Pick attacking-minded midfielders who play winger/attacking mid? Pass on so many of them and take Rice. Maybe shore up his midfield after the Rice pick to make sure he doesn't get lapped by people prioritizing mids? Take Hojlund (injured) and Akanji (Manchester City player). Then, follow it up with a player who was dragged along by Enzo Maresca into the Premier League and dropped into a team that doesn't have enough seats in the stadium to fit the squad.

Did he let his Manchester United bias get to him? After all, he did take a center back who couldn't even crack the top 400 Draft Rank and an attacking midfielder who will probably have to play left back on Friday. Guess we'll never know.

That said, I guess it doesn't take much for Zach to improve on last season's performance, so he's probably just hoping to finish above his pick number.

Solid draft for a team that would work IRL. 11/10

Gavin - 15th Pick

FWD - Mateta, Archer, Thiago

MID - Maddison, Rodri, Bruno G, Omari Hutchinson, Adingra

DEF - Gvardiol, Branthwaite, Senesi, Timber, Reguilon

GKP - Pickford, Dubravka

Next up is Gavin. Can't really fault Gavin too much for his picks here, he was probably just playing it safe so he didn't have anyone as good as Foden to trade away.

Now that we've thrown that joke, we can move to 2nd: his midfielders! zing! Taking 2 DMs is surely a brave move and combining them with a player with paper for legs and an Ipswich winger is definitely a choice. That said, his defensive core is solid, which will be necessary when he's only playing 1 FWD every week. Maybe that's his plan, but it's hard to tell if there was one when his draft board doesn't contain a defender in the final 4 picks.

Overall, a team that felt like it copied the managers next to it rather than picking on it's own: Rice and Rodri; VVD and Gvardiol; Raya and Pickford. Maybe it's coincidence? Maybe it's a tactic so as not to throw the title race in the middle of February. You can tell he's an Arsenal fan.

Solid team, don't trade it away. 8/10

Luke - 16th Pick

FWD - Havertz, Armstrong, Delap

MID - Eze, Kluivert, Tielemans, Brereton Diaz, Rogers

DEF - Van Dijk, Guehi, Zabarnyi, Pinnock, Hall

GKP - Raya, Ramsdale

And last but certainly not least is Luke's draft. Unfortunately, I quite like this draft and would happily rate it highly. If not for the fact that he has only 1 starting defender from the top half of the table. Or that he for some reason spent all of his picks on players from the same club: Eze + Guehi; Havertz + Raya + Ramsdale; Kluivert + Zabarnyi; Tielemans + Rogers; Armstrong + Brereton Diaz. What is this, Go Fish? Maybe that's why he's already sending trades to everyone in the league(read: ignore the phishing attempts in your inboxes!). Perhaps he'll get a 4th Arsenal player and be able to play his hand.

At the very least he's not hamstrung himself by choosing Haaland. He learned some player names and put together a squad that will have a disappointing midfield, again. Unfortunately for him this time, he doesn't have Haaland to carry him up the table the last 6 weeks of the season. Get ready to learn Arsenal disappointment buddy.

All-in-all, solid draft. He'll just make sure to get used to his defenders never scoring a goal. 9/10